As Time Goes
by 8shinigamikiller8
Summary: Kanda goes on a mission but things go wrong and he loses contact with the Order. What will happen to Allen when he discovers his lovers predicament? Yullen, One-Shot.


_Where are you? _

_Will you make back in time, or at all?_

_It's been 6 months since you left the Order and went out on your mission._

_We haven't heard from you after the first time the finder reported your arrival in the town. _

_What went wrong, are you sick, injured, or God forbid, dead. _

It was just another typical morning in the Black Order, you could here exorcists and finders eating in the dining hall and the scream of a rabbit with red hair running into the dining hall and hiding behind me. " 'Morning, Lavi," I greeted. "M-m-morning, Moyashi-chan." Just as expected, a grumpy samurai came running towards said rabbit, going for the kill. After the two of them ran around the hall a couple of times, Lavi, now with bruises and cuts, the samurai just left and went over to Jerry and ordered soba and tea. He sat down in front of me, "Good morning, Kanda." I said. "Che." I was going to snap back but Lavi sat down next to me, so instead I just continued to eat my pile of food. We all finished at the same time, Lavi went off to find Bookman in the library, Kanda went off to train, and I went to bed room.

I opened the door only to have something fly into my face. "Tim, could you at least warn me," I complained. I grabbed Timcampy and set him on top of my head instead of my face. Once I closed the door it was dark, so I opened the window to let more light and fresh air in. I laid down on the bed. _I never meant to fall in love with you but, like how I opened the window, my heart was soon yours. Say, Yuu, do you think we'll make it through this war, or do you think one or all of us will fall. I feel like there's more to this war than what we know, is it bad or good that we are negligent to what is happening around us. We steal minutes and spend them with each other when we know that we shouldn't, for others don't have the luxury of having a lover like us, it's selfish. I just can't bring myself to hate what we're doing though. I love you too much to live without you by my side. I…_ There was a knock at the door, I stopped my internal rambling and got up to answer it.

"….Kanda…" I whispered. "Che, Moyashi, were you expecting someone else?" "Of course not." I opened the door and let him in, I locked it behind him. I opened my mouth to speak but Kanda already had his lips on them. Our kiss was slow and deep, he licked my lip and I opened my mouth more to grant him access to it. His tongue in my wet cavern, exploring it, was always one of the best feelings he could give to me. Intense pleasure was surging throughout my body, but we both had to pull away to catch our breath. "Don't talk, do it later, when I'm done with you." Kanda whispered in my ear. I shook my head yes and we resumed our kissing. He pulled my shirt off and I unbuttoned his and slid it off. We made our way to my bed and he threw me onto it. I landed on it and Kanda climbed on top of me. He was kissing, licking every part of my bear chest and neck, I moaned loudly from his touch. Our lips met again and I pulled him down closer to my body and grinded his hips on mine. We both groaned in pleasure from the touch, stimulation that it gave us. I fumbled with his belt buckle, un-did it, and pulled it off. He shrugged out of his pants and boxers. Kanda hastily threw my belt, pants, and boxers off of me. We gave into the ecstasy, this was the pleasure we could only get from each other and no other. We had a burning passion for each other, we hid it, but it was there.

Kanda had his arms wrapped around me as we lay in the bed, exhausted from the pleasure we had given and taken from each other. I nuzzled into his chest before sleep over took us both and I said, "I love you, Yuu." "I love you too, Allen."

_If you love me, come back to me._

_I hate being alone, you know that, so why have you left me on my own for so many months._

_Come back, so my mind can be at peace, and my sleep not filled with nightmares. _

_6 months, you've been gone, but how much longer can I make it without you. _

I woke to cobalt eyes silently watching me. I pecked Kanda on the lips and turned over to see what time it was. It was 5, or as my stomach reminded, dinner time. Kanda smirked, so we both got up and dressed, and made our way to the dining hall, taking care that no one saw us leave my room. I walked up to Jerry, with Kanda silently trailing behind, and told him what I wanted. "Glutton." "It's not like I'm fat, and I'd rather be a glutton than have such girly hair." _That's not true, you know how much I love to run my hands through your beautifully silky hair. _"Moyashi, do you want to die?" "My names Allen, BaKanda." "A moyashi is a moyashi." I opened my mouth to retort him but Jerry had my food done, so I grabbed it and walked away. "Che" I sat down with Lenalee and Lavi, "Hi, Moyashi-chan!" "Hi, Allen." "Hi, Lenalee, Lavi, and it's Allen." I started working on my pile of food, not too soon after, Kanda came over and sat with us. We all finished and just as I was going to get up, Reever came over. "Kanda, Komui wants you in his office for a mission." I looked over at Kanda but didn't say anything, he got up an left for Komui's office. _We both had prepared ourselves for this, the separation that came from missions, the worry, the fear that the other could possibly be in critical danger. But it never stopped the pain that would go through our chests or the worry that would plague us and sometimes lead to nightmares, for either of us. _Lenalee, Lavi, and I dispersed and went to our respective rooms.

_I know you had to leave, but I wish you hadn't._

_It's our job as exorcists, but I never hated the danger it put us in until now._

_The aching in my heart wasn't all, I heard your voice everywhere I went. _

_It was a constant reminder that you had been gone for so long. _

_I love you too much to lose you, I would gladly give my life to save yours._

_Maybe if I had gone with you, we'd both be back or dead together. _

_The pain in my heart is too much, if I keep going like this, I don't know if I'll make it._

_Whatever you do, please come back, soon. Please._

The first month that Kanda was gone, I was alright, I did my missions, but I didn't think it odd of him still being gone.

During the second month, however, I started to worry that maybe he had been injured. That's what I told myself and decided not to think too hard, he would be back in no time.

In the third month I started to get more paranoid about whether, he was gravely injured and lying on his death bed. I asked Komui, as non-challantly as I could, if he was ok, for Kanda had been gone for so long, but he said he didn't know, that he lost communication with you and the finder. My heart sunk.

The fourth month came, by then I was eating less and not interacting with anyone, only leaving my room to eat. Sometimes I would go into his room, sit on the bed, and stare at the door, willing it to open and him be there.

During the fifth month, I started having nightmares, I wasn't eating, only when Lenalee or Lavi told me to. I slept in his room every night, waiting for him to come in, he never did. Lavi and Lenalee would ask what was wrong but I never answered, I was practically mute, I only thought of Kanda. His voice was in my head, his touch on my body. I couldn't sleep and I didn't eat, I was a mess. I could barely keep myself together, the whole Order was worried for me, I hadn't gone on a mission for 2 months, almost 3.

_I never meant to fall in love with you._

_The time we spent together was stolen._

_We had no right and now I was paying the price for indulging myself._

_Everyone who I have ever truly loved has been taken from me._

_Why did it have to happen to you, why did you have to be taken from me._

_Was love supposed to be this painful. _

_I always thought love was something wonderful, that I couldn't deny, I had experienced it, but right now, all I could think was that it was cruel and painful._

_Maybe I should end my pain, but what if you come back, and what about my promise to Mana, I said I would keep on walking._

_But I'm not sure if my legs can take me any further without you by my side. _

_So please, come back to me, come back to me before I break and I'm not here anymore. _

_Where have you gone?_

_I LOVE YOU, PLEASE COME BACK, YUU!_

It's been exactly 6 months since Kanda left for his mission. He hasn't come back and we haven't heard from him except for the one time. I miss him so much my heart and head ache. I'm not the only one, Lenalee and Lavi have also been down. Lavi has no one to bug and Lenalee doesn't have one of her best friends by her side. I don't think anyone else would admit it, but I think we all miss him, he may have been cold hearted but he was a great exorcist and everyone respected him for that at least. Everyone in the Order was trying to cheer us up because today was Christmas. The whole Order had been decorated, head to toe. So, we decided for everyone's sake we put our best smiles on and try to enjoy the day.

_I felt extreme pain every waking moment, sometimes I couldn't breath, other times it felt like my heart was being ripped, bettered, beaten, stabbed, crushed. My pain was so great at this point, it was indescribable. I was depressed, and lets face it, even suicidal, the only thing that kept me from taking my life was thought that you may still come back. But day by day, my hope was diminishing, probably in a weeks time, Lavi or Lenalee will come to my room and find my cold, dead body. I know it would hurt everyone, but I have no reason to live if you're not here by my side. You are my reason, my light, my hope that we will end this war and be able to spend the rest of our lives the way we want. _

_Please, don't be dead, come back to me. _

_Even if you're broken and battered, I will put you back together, I'll put my whole heart in to it. _

After breakfast I went to my room and skulked there for the rest of the day until it was dinner time. I had been depriving myself of food so much that I couldn't take the pain in my stomach anymore. I was walking down the hall, I could hear happy voices coming from the dinning hall. But when I got to the door, they suddenly died. I opened the door and I saw a banner that said, "Happy Birthday, Allen!" everyone yelled. I put a smile on my face, it wasn't real, but it was the most convincing smile I had ever given in my entire life. Everyone was surrounding me, congratulating me, for now I was 16.

_I wanted to be happy, but I couldn't be without you by my side. _

_I just acted happy and smiled, my cheeks hurt from it, I hadn't been doing it lately. _

_I wish you could be here for my birthday, for Christmas. _

_You know as well as I do, that I don't care about my birthday._

_But I was looking forward to having it with you, that quickly faded when you had been gone for 3 months, by then, all I wanted was you._

Although it was Christmas, it was raining, but it didn't stop everyone else from being happy, so I tried my best. The crowd around me started to dissipate as everyone said what they wanted to me. This put me at ease a little, I don't like crowds. _Not without you. _I looked around at everyone who was here. Even Tiedoll, Marie, and Daisya. Though, I noticed something, Komui wasn't here, that was strange, I thought he would be here to protect Lenalee. I heard the door opening to the dining hall, it creaked loudly, so loudly that everyone turned to look and see who was coming in. someone stepped in, it was Komui, I felt sad, I was hoping that it had been Kanda. Even though Komui had come in, he left the door open, as if expecting someone else to come in after him, and someone did. His face was covered by his hood, but I could tell it was a man by looking him over. I felt my heart flip when I saw that he had a katana on his waist. Everyone was looking at the man who had just stepped in, instead of Komui. I felt like I knew this person, but I was just getting my hopes up, Kanda was probably dead by now. With every eye on him, he ever so slowly pulled his hood down. He had long beautiful, silky black hair with blue in it, he had it pulled up into a ponytail. He had cobalt eyes that made my heart stop when they looked at me. My breath stopped in my throat, he had come back to me, Kanda had come back to me after 6 long months. I tuned everything else out except for the person in front of me. His dark cobalt eyes, I started running towards him, he was running towards me. I grabbed him and he grabbed me, our lips met. Nothing in this world mattered more than Kanda and now he was back where he belonged. My whole body was one fire from his touch, but my lips, they were the smoldering. Our kiss was deep, passionate, loving, lust filled. He didn't even have to ask for entrance, I automatically gave it to him. His tongue was exploring my mouth with vigor. I had missed this feeling, his lips, his tongue, his body. We broke apart, although we would prefer not to, but we needed to breath. I was leaning against his chest, and that was when I felt it, all eyes were literally on us. I turned my head and so did Kanda, we were met with almost everyone's eyes falling out of their sockets, except for Tiedoll, he was crying, and Daisya, he was laughing his ass off. Oh, and of course Marie had a smile on his face. Kanda bent down and whispered in my ear, "If you want to get away from the stares, we can go to my room, I'll give you something else to stare at. I'll take you to heaven, I'll make you beg, but I'll give you the pleasure we both, oh so, want." I blushed deeply, very deeply, my whole face was probably red. We both did something the whole Order wasn't expecting, we ran as fast as we could out of the dinning hall and into Kanda's room. I locked the door behind us, I looked at Kanda and said, "I love you, Yuu." "I love you, Allen." Once again our lips were locked in a fiery fight of passion.

That night all you could hear were the moans of the both of us as we melt into one person, one being with the deep feelings we had for the other.

_Love is cruel, hurtful, painful, and lonely._

_But love is also happiness, passion, lust, desires, dreams, peace, and exquisiteness. _

_If you wait long enough, keep yourself from falling apart, you can experience and have the good in it, not just the pain, but the happiness. _

_Love is why we live. _


End file.
